but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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