just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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