I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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