We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize