..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
