What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
