Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
