Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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