My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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