Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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