the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
