Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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