If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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