I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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