Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
