Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
