ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
