I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
