Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Send help, water and tortillas.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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