I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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