I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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