they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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