Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
