your parents love me but you hate me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
