i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
