FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
