Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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