I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
