Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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