hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize