i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
