i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
