im holly from the hills drunk
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dignity is for republicans.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
