do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can't put those talents on a resume
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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