I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
