when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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