He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize