How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
