R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
