i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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