OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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