Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
