yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
