Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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