Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
