Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Life is so much better after having sex.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
