Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
