i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
