I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
