That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize