so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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