Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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