if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
