He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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