if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
