with your own penis?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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