im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize