I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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