Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
