Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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