READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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