I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
