i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Ladies don't puke and tell
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
