yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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